


Once Upon a Spideypool

by ALPHAwolf



Category: Deadpool (Movieverse), Marvel, The Amazing Spider-Man (Movies - Webb)
Genre: AU, Andrew Garfield Spider-Man, Dialogue Heavy, Flirting, M/M, Prison AU, Slow Burn, Strangers to Friends to maybe-boyfriends, X-force - Freeform, deadpool 2 au, icebox
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-08
Updated: 2019-08-08
Packaged: 2020-08-11 21:20:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20160265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ALPHAwolf/pseuds/ALPHAwolf
Summary: Once upon a Deadpool/dp2 if Spidey had been involved (picking up from when Wade and Russel arrive in the Icebox)





	Once Upon a Spideypool

**Author's Note:**

> This stays in line with the original story and uses the movie script! (disclaimer- not mine, owned by marvel)

“I wonder what gang I'll be in. Is there, like a Sorting Hat?” Wade waved at a fellow inmate as he and Russel were led through the Ice Box, the word ‘mutant’ tattooed across the other man’s forehead. “I see myself as more of an East Coast Hufflepuff.” One of the mutanist guards shoved him along, taking the two up a set of metal steps towards the hamster cage like cells a level above.

There was no wondering this place was called ‘The Ice Box’. It was pretty damn cold, leading him to believe they must have been somewhere up the northern end of Canada.

“I’ve made a critical error on my air BnB reservation.” He continued to monologue lightheartedly as the mixed gendered prisoner’s around them roared, both congratulating and threatening in their ‘greeting’. “This is not what the website looked like at all. I love the decor though, I had no idea hopeless was a colour.”

“Hard left, douchebag.” The guard behind him ordered, Wade turning towards his and Russels cell. He expected to find it empty, as it appeared to be two people per cell, but as he approached he noted someone already occupied one of the beds.

They sat cross legged with a book in hand, glasses on their face and a messy brown nest atop their head. The brunette looked up from his book and Wade’s words failed him, brain short circuiting as the most beautiful pair of adorable big brown eyes looked at him.

“Move, dirtbag.” The guard shoved him roughly and he stumbled into the cage, Russel following behind with a kind of snarl at the guard.

The brunette smiled kindly towards them, looking even younger than Wade had first assumed from his thin, mid height form. The word _jailbait_ immediately came to mind.

“I thought it was two to a cell.” Wade commented as the door shut behind them, noting there were only two little slates to rest on for all three of them. 

“Things have gotten pretty overcrowded in here lately.” The other explained, borderline stuttering in his awkward reply. _Oh crap, he was fucking adorable._

The brunette’s expression turned to horror like shock as he was able to see Russel properly, the lights dimming throughout the prison as all the inmates where ushered to their cells for the night.

“You’re… a kid. They’re putting kids in here?” He sounded like he couldn’t quite believe his own words, eyes flashing from Russel to Wade and Wade to Russel.

“There’s no juvie for mutants.” The tallest confirmed, sitting on the bed across from the other.

“I-I’m Peter.” He introduced, suddenly standing. “Here, you can have my bed.” He removed his bedroll and invited Russel to have his sleeping space, putting his own on the floor and sitting. Russel didn’t argue or thank him, taking a seat in what he hoped was an intimidating manner.

“My name’s Firefist!” Wade rolled his eyes at the kid’s terrible alias.

“His names Russel,” he corrected, “I’m Wade.”

“Nice to meet you... Umm, Russel, can I ask, how old... are you?”

“Old enough to kick your butt!” The brunette looked shocked at the aggressive response, the teen’d expression turning embarrassed and guilty as Wade gave him a look. “…Fourteen.” Peter nodded dumbly, still seeming lost in his unpleasant surprise.

“You don’t look that old, how about you?” The mercenary asked, leaning down and looking closely at the pale adolescent.

“Twenty.”

“Jesus, you really are jailbait.” He seemed both shocked and offended by the comment. “Well that’s why they keep you on your own, isn’t it? We’re only here ‘cause they don’t think we’re any harm.”

“You’re harmless?” He rose a brow and looked Wade up and down, the man pushing his chest out just a little. “You look like you could crush a person’s head between your thighs.” So their hot new cellmate had been checking out his thighs? _Nice_.

“On a good day, unfortunately with this collar my only superpower is unbridled cancer. Give me a bow and arrow, I'm basically Hawkeye.” Peter smirked.

“You wish.” _Oh god, he had spunk and a sense of humor, that’s was so damn sexy_. “So... cancer huh? I’m sorry.” He shrugged, damning himself internally even further. _Vanessa help him, the hot piece of ass had empathy on top of everything! He was so screwed. _

“I’ll sleep on the floor.” Wade insisted, moving to stand.

“Oh no! I’m fine down here really!” God that smile was killing him, and to make matter’s worse the other put a hand on his leg to keep him in place. _He had balls. Balls he really wanted to play with. Dammit shut up brain!_

“Please, you’re sick.” Peter begged, staring into Wade’s eyes with those beautiful mocha irises. He only removed his hand once Wade relaxed back onto his butt, the spot his hand had been still warm.

“What you in for?” Russel asked, the other turning jittery and putting on a nervous smile.

“Oh, um… I-It’s complicated. I didn’t do anything illegal though. Well, I mean technically I did but I- I um kind of got caught being a, sort of, vigilante.” He admitted shyly.

“You’re a superhero!?” The teen cried out excitedly.

“Sort of?”

“Which one!?” The robust mutant questioned desperately.

“Oh, um, sorry, but I can’t say, secret identity and everything.” He apologised.

“Got ‘cha.” Wade agreed with a wink, Peter’s face heating a little as he chuckled nervously.

“...I wanted to be a superhero. Always wanted a real super suit.” Russel commented, looking rather depressed.

“What happened?” Wade pressed.

“When was the last time you saw a plus-sized superhero? Never. The industry discriminates.” 

“That doesn’t mean you can’t be a superhero!” Peter insisted encouragingly. “I mean, if you’re worried about finding a suit your size I made mine from scratch, maybe I could teach you? You know, the theoretical side of it at least.”

“I made mine too!” Wade rose his palm so the other could high five him, and surprisingly he happily complied, not even cringing as their skin met. _He wasn’t repulsed by Wade’s flesh. That was a first._ Even Ness had needed some time to get used to it... this kid’s eyesight must have been _really_ bad.

“So, you’re a hero too?” He asked, eyes practically sparkling.

“Well, anti-hero.” He sugar-coated, the other’s eyebrows lifting.

“Ahhh.”

“Isn’t sewing kind of gay?” Russel interrupted, face twisted in an unsure manner. 

“Excuse me, pan.” Wade pointed at himself, Peter’s eyes widening.

“Oh my God, _same_!” The brunette gave him a double high-five, Russel looking as though he had absolutely no idea what pan meant.

“Pipe down!” The passing guard slammed on their cell door, the three immediately going silent.

“...So, what’s your powers?” Russel whispered as soon as the man had moved on.

“Uhh, I hav a few little ones.” Peter explained.

“Like what?”

“Uhh...” he thought on it a moment, “strength, dexterity, that sort of thing.” He was being rather tight lipped, Wade noted curiously. “How about you two?”

“I heal, he shoots fire out of his hands-” the word turned into a small cough, and then another, and suddenly he was keeled over in a fit. _Well, the tumours in his lungs were growing faster than he’d expected. _

Peter was suddenly up at his side, patting his back and looking incredibly concerned.

“You should be in a hospital,” Peter insisted as the heaving ended, “do you want me to call the guard?” He stood as if ready to do so, but Wade stopped him by placing his hand more than gently on his forearm. Peter seemed shocked by the lightness of his touch, seeming unfitting to the other’s huge masculine frame.

“It’s fine, I’m happy to die honestly.” He admitted, laying himself down.

“Oh… well that’s… awful.” Peter rambled awkwardly, sitting himself back down on the floor. “Any particular reason?”

“Honestly? My fiancée got shot because of me.” Russel appeared shocked at this, while the brunette’s expression shifted from heartbreak to understanding.

“I’m so sorry.” Wade only grunted in reply. “No, really,” Peter implored, his face fallen, “I… I lost my girlfriend... because I wasn’t fast enough to save her.”

“No way, you’r not a virgin?” Wade joked in mock shock, Peter’s solemn expression turning back to a smile, just as he’d hoped.

“Shut up.” He replied lightheartedly, gently hitting his arm as they both chuckled.

“What was her name?” Wade asked curiously.

“Gwen.” The brunette replied with a nostalgic smile.

“Vanessa.” He contributed.

“...I’m an orphan.” Russel suddenly butted in, evidently feeling left out.

“Me too.” Peter related, the teen nodding with a small smile after having been acknowledged.

“So how long have you been in here?” Wade asked, greedily turning the other’s attention back to him.

“Three weeks.” Not too long then, through he was surprised he had lasted even that.

“What’s the worst part about it? The food, the guards, the cold?”

“The showers.” Peter replied with certainty.

“Ohhh, yeah jailbait like you with all those pervs, yeeesh.”

“Yeah…” He cringed, “Don’t worry Russel, you can hide behind me in the showers.”

“And you can hide behind me.” Wade offered, the brunette smiling gratefully back up at him.

“Thanks.”

Russel looked at the two with a befuddled expression as they sat like that for nearly half a minute, just staring and smiling at each other like... like... he wasn’t even sure what the hell it was like but it was weirding him out.

Wade’s expression suddenly shifted, contorting into pain as he jumped to his feet and stumbled hurriedly to the back of their cell. Peter rushed after him, Russel cringing as the other began to heave violently.

Peter knelt beside him as he spilled his guts, face riddled with concern as he hesitantly began to rub his back.

“Fuck!” Wade exclaimed as blood spilled from his mouth, Peter cringing at the sight.

“Here, let me try getting this off.” He insisted softly, reaching for the man’s collar.

“No, it’s fine.” Wade stood, pushing his hands away and spitting into the toilet before stumbling back to his bed.

“I just need something sharp and I can open it up, then maybe I’ll be able to deactivate it. The guards probably wont even notice.” Peter followed after him, brain ticking.

“I’m good.” The taller insisted with a groan, his head thudding painfully as he laid himself down.

“I stole that guard's pen, and stashed it in the old prison wallet, if you know what I'm saying.” Russel contributed, making his way over to hide behind the wall. Peter’s expression shifted in confusion at the jargon. _Their jumpsuits didn’t have pockets..._

“Prison wallet? I really hope I don't know what you're saying.” Wade replied.

“You can use it to get it open, then I’ll turn it into a shank.” The boy continued as he began to remove the pen from his person, the follow sounds making his meaning glaringly apparent.

“You don’t need a shank and I’m not touching that thing.” Peter insisted as he sat with a cringe.

“Oh God I can hear you rummaging around in there!” They were both cringing now. “I’m gonna need purell for my ears.”

“Russel, please stop! We don’t need a shank, nobody is shanking anyone, ok? Just be nice and don’t make any enemies, you’ll be fine as long as you stick close.” Peter insisted. Wade found the other’s theology rather surprising considering he looked a though he could easily be snapped in half. Still, even if the protection he was offering Russel was less than reliable, at least it was something.

Thankfully the other gave up and returned to his bed, Peter sending him back to wash his hands.

A loud bang sounded as their cell shook, Russel’s eyes darting in the direction of the source as he hurried back to his bed, hands wet.

“What was that?”

“Fun fact about the Ice Box,” Wade began, “though no one's ever seen it, they keep a monster in the basement. Right next to a huge, steaming bowl of foreshadowing.”

“Poor guy.” Peter commented quietly, “Must suck being down in solitary all the time.”

The brunette removed his glasses and placed them on his book, laying down on his bed mat. Russel mimicked his behaviour.

“Want to know how we ended up in here?” The teen asked hopefully, evidently reluctant to fall asleep.

“Of course.” Peter replied.

“I got sent to a ‘Mutant Re-education Centre’, the worst one they’ve got. I tried to burn it down, then Wade killed one of the fuckers there.” Peter’s eyes flashed open, looking over at Wade, who had apparently already been unapologetically staring down at him.

“They were abusing him, they deserved it.” The man defended.

“...Oh.”

“The first thing I wanna do when I get out of here...” Russel continued, looking up at the ceiling as he spoke, “burn the headmaster alive, and then take a selfie with his smouldering corpse.”

“Who says prison isn't reformative?” Wade mumbled.

“Wow, no no no, just… I’m sure your headmaster was an awful person, but I don’t think burning him alive is going to fix anything. That’s not something a superhero would do.” _Ohhh, guilt trip._ This guy was good.

“What would a superhero do?” Russel asked, sounding both sarcastic and hopeful.

“Well… if it was me, I’d drop him off at a police station with ‘child abuser’ written on him so they’d know.”

“They’d let him go.” Russel argued solemnly, Wade grunting in agreement.

“Then… beat him up really good first?” The mercenary chuckled.

“I like the way your brain works. You’re a total Gryffindor.” Wade commented fondly.

“You think? I always felt like more of a Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw.” Peter replied.

“Oh my God, you’re a nerd!”

“You’re a nerd too!”

“A Hufflepuff nerd.” They both chuckled, Wade realising he hadn’t felt this happy since Ness’s death, and he was feeling it in a prison cell with some guy he hardly knew of all places.

“Shut it freaks!” They all fell silent once again, Wade watching less than sneakily as Peter closed his eyes and curled up to stay warm.

It wasn’t long till Russel was snoring, the kid having had a long day. His extra skin was keeping him warm enough, but meanwhile the brunette on the floor had begun shaking like a leaf. His jaw was clenched fast in an attempt not to let them chatter, breathing short and erratic.

“Come up here.” Wade insisted, the other only curling up tighter with his eyes still shut.

“I’m fine.” He insisted stubbornly.

“It’s cold down there just get up here.”

“We won’t fit.” He argued.

“Come on, I’m cold, I need a blanket, lay on me.” The other’s eyes flashed open, and if he weren’t so cold he might have gone beet red.

“No!” Peter whispered forcefully.

“I’m a dying man! Get up here and give me some sugar.”

“You are not making it more likely I’ll move.”

“Pleeease, I’m siiick. Besides, I gotta keep you healthy so you can protect Russel after I die.” He gave Peter the biggest puppy dog eyes he could muster, pouting innocently.

“...Fine.” The other finally relented, getting up off the floor shakily and hesitantly looking at Wade as he pondered how the hell this was going to work.

Wade pet his belly invitingly, the shivering brunette furrowing his brows as he attempted to crawl on top of him in what had to be the most awkward manner possible.

His entire body was vibrating with shivers, and as soon as he realised how warm Wade’s body was he abandoned all shame in lieu of snuggling up at close as he could, his froze nose pressed into Wade’s chest.

The mercenary chuckled to himself at how tiny the other seemed as he wrapped his arms around him.

“You are so jailbait.”

“Shut up.” Peter grumbled, his voice muffled by the larger’s chest.

“So, since you didn’t have a dad, it wouldn’t be weird if you nickname me daddy, right?” The brunette snorted a laugh.

“Please go to sleep, Wade.” Wilson smiled to himself as he shut his eyes, the other’s weight on top of him like a purring cat’s, soothing him into sleep.

§

“Time to wake up, fags!” Wade awoke groggily to a guard slamming on their door, glaring at him and Peter in disgust. He ignored it, watching as the brunette slowly raised his head in confusion at the yelling.

Russel yawned and grumbled unhappily as he was forced to wake prematurely, rolling over and shutting his eyes tight in rebellion.

“Morning sleepy head.” Wade rasped as the younger yawned and untangled himself from their heap, crawling off him and nearly falling onto the floor as he searched around for his glasses. Amusing at it was, Wade picked them up for the other and pressed them into the blind adolescents hands. Peter’s cheeks were obviously pink as he quietly thanked him, all the cell doors sliding open for the day.

Some prisoners left immediately, going off to gather into their gangs or make use of the few weights available to them.

Wade remained laying on his bedroll, feeling extremely lethargic and certain that if he stood he would fall right back down. Peter had picked his book back up, leaning against Wade’s ‘bed’ as he began to read.

It took some time for Russel to surrender to consciousness, the boy stumbling to the back of the cell to pee and no doubt work on his shank before returning. The overly long time he took and his strange gait as he returned assured Wade that he had indeed been working on sharpening the pen. _Eugh_.

“How come you got a book?” Russel asked, no doubt noting none of the other inmates had any obvious possessions.

“Good behaviour. Want a go? I’ve pretty much memorised it.” He offered the hardback over to the younger encouragingly, Russel taking it curiously as looking over the title.

“Black... Beauty?” Wade was about to comment, but a pointed look from Peter silenced what was no doubt either a racial joke or comment of Russel’s obvious difficulty in reading.

“They only have classics, it’s good though, written by a teenager too.” This seemed to grip the other’s interest.

“Cool.” He opened it up and squinted at the first page, his mouth moving silently as he began to sound out each word. Peter smiled successful as the other quickly became completely engrossed, turning to Wade to share the look before noting the circular item he was nursing between his fingers.

“What’s that?” He asked quietly, avoiding looking at it as not to draw a guards attention to the contraband.

“Skee-ball Token. It was from me and Ness’s first date.” His lip twitched upwards nostalgically. “That was before I looked like my face got pushed onto a grinder.”

Peter didn’t chuckle as he expected, his expression filled with concern.

“What happened?” He asked hesitantly, his big doe eyes filled with so much damn sincere care his tumours might melt.

“Uh, after I got diagnosed I tried joining this program to try get rid of it.” He began quietly, noting Russel’s lips had stopped moving so he was no doubt listening in on their conversation. “Turned out they just gave you a shot and tortured you till you either died or mutated. Anyway, during the whole process my skin got kind of fucked.”

“It’s not that bad,” Peter assured, “I think the scars are actually pretty... cool.” He cleared his throat awkwardly as he avoided meeting his eyes, the mercenary’s expression something akin to surprise. “So, then technically, you’re a mutate?”

“A what now?” He was a bit too busy looking at the other’s bitten pink lips to guess what it meant.

“Well a mutant develops their powers naturally,” Peter explained, “a mutate, however, has to have been exposed to a mutagen. I-I know because technically I’m a mutate too.”

“Huh. Maybe you are a Ravenclaw, Mr. smarty pants.” Peter smiled and chuckled, the two chatting about anything and everything until mealtime came about.

“They only feed us twice a day, and the foods awful, but it’s better than starving, and the puddings ok.” Peter explained as they made their way down to the mess hall, Russel’s poor stomach grumbling loudly.

They each collected their meal and followed Peter to an empty table, the teen sitting beside him and Wade directly in front in silence.

They avoided speaking in the crowded hall, Wade’s focus solely on forcing the disgusting mush down his throat and into his already nauseous stomach.

“Psst!” Russel quietly hissed in the silence at Wade, both men looking at him in confusion.

“Don't do that. What? Why are you winking at me?”

“I got your back.” Russel assured.

“Oh, my God.” He groaned.

“You're sick, we gotta protect you.” Peter seemed to find the young boy’s protective nature adorable as he smiled approvingly.

“Just leave me alone, kid.” Wade insisted, noting the approach of several large imposing men. “Oh, great.”

“Well, hello there, new fish.” The leader began, his jumpsuit top half around his waist to display his tattoos despite the cold. “It's nice to see some fresh faces around here.” He went to touch Russel, but Peter blocked his hand with his, giving the man a firm glare.

“Leave them alone, Tom.” Peter insisted, not unkindly.

“I've done some light catalog work but, really, modelling is just a steppingstone to acting.” Wade rambled as the two stayed with their eyes locked.

“Stay out of this ‘Peacekeeper’,” Tom growled, “I was talking to them.”

“Oh. Have we met? I can't place your moustache.” Wilson continued, feigning curiosity.

“Black Tom Cassidy.”

“White Wade Wilson. What's your superpower? Cultural appropriation?”

“Wade!” Peter hissed, turning his glare to him.

“You're supposed to be the toughest cunt in here. You don't look like much to me.” The man insulted, looming over them.

“First rule of the yard, fuckface,” Russel stood in front of the largest of the gang, a panicked expression crossing Peter’s face, “find the biggest guy and make him your-!”

Peter jumped in front of him before the giant’s fist collided with Russel’s face, stumbling back as he was slammed in the chest, his glasses falling from his face and clattering to the floor.

Wade automatically stood, suddenly in fight mode despite his sickly body. It immediately caused him to start coughing, the sound echoing through the prison as everyone suddenly fell silent.

They all looked worried as Peter clutched his diaphragm, evidently winded by the blow as he held onto the table tightly.

Everyone looked... nervous, the big guy taking a wary step back, Peter’s glasses crunching under his shoe.

Suddenly the guards were upon them, separating the two groups and forcing everyone back into their cells. Wade watched curiously, coming to Peter’s side and putting the brunette’s arm around his shoulders.

They were guided back towards their cell, a kerfuffle occurring behind them as some resisted being detained before finishing their meal.

“What was that about?” Wade asked as he put Peter in his bed, the other blinking at the blurriness around him as he rubbed his chest.

“Um… The guy who sent me here was kind of my best friend when we were kids. He bribed all the guards into keeping me safe so they make a big fuss whenever anything happens.” He admitted, a confused expression on both his cellmate’s faces.

“Why the hell’d your friend send you here?” Wade questioned, sitting beside the other.

“We have a complicated relationship.” He tried to explain, the two waiting silently for him to elaborate. “Basically, I had something he wanted and I wouldn’t give it, so he said I could either go quietly and stay here till I’m ready to give him what he wants or he’ll expose me, which basically puts a hit out on everyone I care about, not that there are many left.” He mumbled the last part quietly.

“Huh, and the ‘Peacekeeper’ thing?”

“Oh, Peter ‘Peacekeeper’ Parker was the little nickname they gave me when I broke up a fight. Do either of you know where my glasses went? I’m kind of blind here.” Russel cringed guiltily.

“The big guy kind of stepped on them... Sorry.”

“It’s ok, are you alright?” Peter asked, looking concerned at the yellow blob across from him he assumed was Russel.

“You protected me. No ones ever done that before... Thanks.”

“Of course, but please don’t do anything like that again. And _please_ get rid of that pen.” He begged with a small smile, the other nodding with his fingers crossed behind his back. “Well, I guess you two are going to have to be my eyes from now on. I can’t see anything clearly like two feet in front of my face.”

“Ohhh blind superhero? Someones riding Daredevil’s coattails.”

“I have no idea who that is but a blind superhero sounds super badass.”

“He is pretty awesome.” Wade agreed the two chuckling.

“Can I ask,” Peter began, nibbling at his bottom lip, “why did Tom say you were ‘the toughest’? How do they know who you are?”

“Used to be a mercenary. Best in the biz.” Peter’s eyes went wide.

“You killed people for a living?” He ask, sounding almost heartbroken.

“You know, sex traffickers, mafia heads, pedophiles, those kinds of douche bags.” His horror seemed to subside slightly, thought he still looked visibly uncomfortable.

“Oh…”

“What did you do?” Wade asked, determined to ease the other’s discomfort towards him.

“Well, I was a biophysics student at Empire State University, and a part time photographer.”

“Like a paparazzi!?” Wade gave a mock gasp. “You monster.” Finally, peter giggled, a smile returning to Wilson’s face.

“Jeez, get a room.” Russel mumbled to himself, the brunette’s ears going red as he failed to find words.

“Shut up and read your book, flame-fister.” Wade ordered flippantly, the boy pouting grumpily.

“It’s Firefist.” He corrected.

“How is that better?” Peter hit him on the shoulder gently at that, the teen picking up the hardback and doing as Wade had suggested.

After some time of quiet the Canadian man began to hum along with the tune in his head, flipping his skee-ball token between his fingers.

“Frozen totally ripped that tune off Yentl.” Peter noted flippantly as he played with hands.

“Oh my God yes! How has nobody sued!?” Peter chuckled at the other’s sudden excitement, unable to see the Lovestruck gaze the other was showering him with. “Have you ever done a superhero landing?” The question seemed pretty random, but he answered none the less.

“Are you kidding me? Those things are so impractical.”

“I know right! And painful.” _Dear god this guy was too perfect to be real. Time for some controversy. _“What’s your opinion on dubstep?”

“Love it.” Wade stared at the other wonderstruck, his mouth gaping.

“Where have you been all my life?” He whispered breathily, the other’s laughter making his stomach flip in the most amazing way.

The adolescent rubbed his chest absently, the area no doubt throbbing in pain.

“How’s your chest?” Wade asked, surprised a medic hadn’t been called to check him over what with the big fuss they’d made. They mustn’t have had one, considering they didn’t even give them blankets or three meals a day. The funding must have been pretty shit, or maybe they just hated them all and didn’t care. The latter seemed more likely.

“Ok. I don’t think anythings broken. I’ll probably just have a nice big bruise.”

“Can I take a look?” He seemed embarrassed by the suggestion, but nodded none the less, hesitantly struggling to undo his buttons. It was painful to watch, so he reached out to help, the other flinching away before relaxing. Wade felt like a total perv as he slowly undid them, the other’s face bright red as he chewed his lips. It probably made him a terrible person, but he couldn’t wait for shower time.

He lifted the white singlet, slowly revealing the others defined v, taunt stomach, cute little innie bellybutton, perky pink nipples, and a nice big red angry mark on his sternum.

He had to hold off drooling, or worse, losing his self control and biting one of his pretty little nubs.

“Ouff, yep. That is going to be one hell of a giant hickey.” He carefully pressed on the others ribs and around his sternum to feel for breaks, Peter making a quiet pained sound and looking away with crimson ears. “No breaks, you’re all good. Could probably use some ice though.” He could press his impossibly soft stomach against the glass Wade supposed, but it would look pretty weird.

“I-I’ll be fine.” The brunette insisted, lowering his singlet and turning away from the other, struggling to do his buttons back up hurriedly. Wade went to help, but the other refused him, his legs drawn tightly together. “I-I got it.”

He didn’t push, taking note of the slight bulge between the other’s legs he was attempting to hide. _Fucking score! _His own cock twitched at the sight.

It took the adolescent a while, and he didn’t match them all up correctly, but finally he got his jumpsuit closed once again.

_Dear God, you could have cut the sexual tension with a knife!_ Thank God Russel was so damn focused on his book.

A wave of dizziness suddenly hit him, probably because all his blood was rushing to his crotch. He tilted forward, vision dotted with black.

Before Wade could fall forward Peter grabbed him by the shoulders, manoeuvring him back onto the bed and laying him down.

“You should rest.” The brunette encouraged, the bald man only nodding in reply and swallowing the bile suddenly rising in his throat.

Peter picked up his bedroll and placed it over him in some attempt to provide insulation before carefully making his way over to sit beside Russel, his thighs hitting the side as he found it.

Although he couldn’t see well, he managed to help Russel with some difficult words, the younger reading them out letter by letter for him.

This continued on for a good hour, Russel managing to make his way through two chapters through that time. Peter congratulated him with every page, understanding the other had been given little chance to learn and no support for his lacking education when he did.

Wade’s eye’s shot open as Peter’s encouragement was interrupted by a loud explosion. That was most definitely _not_ the big guy down in solitary.

“What was that?” Peter asked, unable to see as Wade sat up and looked around for a clue. Neither were able to offer an answer as the lights suddenly began to flash red, several of the other cells door sliding open.

The freed inmates tentatively stepped out of their cells, looking about for a sign of what was happening. They quickly gained confidence at the lack of guards present, and a riot broke out. 

“Back in your cells, you filthy mutants! Get in there!” Wade kicked at their door as hard as he could as the cries of mutants and guards quickly rose in volume, alarms sounding throughout the box.

“Door won't open!” He yelled, Russel and Peter huddled behind him. Finally it slid open on its own, Wade grabbing the blind brunette’s hand and hurriedly leading him out into the prison break. He stumbled behind him blindly, Russel at his ankles.

A loud bang sounded behind them and Wade turned to see the plastic shrapnel from the explosion fly about.

“That was our cell.”

“What!?” Peter cried out in panic, Wade beginning to run, dragging him along. It was then he spotted the attacker, some terminator looking guy with a very, very big gun. “What did I do to piss off a grumpy old fucker with a Winter Soldier arm? Here,” he passed Peter’s hand to Russel, “take Peter and get away from me!”

“I’m not leaving you!” Peter insisted.

“Get away from me! Listen to me! Go!” Neither listened, the two struggling to keep up with him as chaos ensued all around.

Suddenly the assailant jumped out in front of them, Wade backing away and protectively shielding the two younger mutants.

“Hello, Russell.” Wade’s gaze snapped to the boy as the man rasped, suddenly realising he wasn’t the assassin’s target.

Peter couldn’t see anything but blurry red-lit blobs as he was yanked about, Russel’s hand suddenly letting go of his. He gripped onto the rails and did his best to identify friend and foe as he yelled at the boy to run and not go towards the silver armed blob with a glowing eye.

The attacker grunted in pain as someone landed a blow before Russel grabbed his hand once again and yanked him towards the stairs. Thank god he recalled they were there or he would have fallen straight down and probably kill them both.

Two guards suddenly appeared, cornering them back into a cell, their electric batons buzzing and glowing. Peter did his best to shield the boy behind him, the cyborg suddenly throwing the human’s aside like rag dolls.

Peter readied to throw a punch just as Wade pounce onto the attacker, a thud following as they both fell to the ground below.

Russel lead him to the ledge, Peter squinting down to see if the other was ok. All he could make out however were two still yellow and black blurs which he assumed were the two men.

“Russel, we have to get you somewhere safe!” He didn’t move, seeming frozen in place. “Russel!” He tried tugging him away but without his powers the other was far too heavy.

Finally, he jolted into action on his own, pulling Peter behind him as they ran. The brunette’s senses felt more overloaded then when his Spidey Sense would hit, all the sound, colours, and shapes around him blurring into one chaotic mess. He fell forward as an explosion occurred below them, Russel falling through the floor and his fingers slipping through Peter’s.

“Russel!” The blur below him groaned and slowly attempted to get up, the attacker making his way towards him. Peter hurried into action, forcing himself onto his feet and gripping the railing for some sense of direction as he hurried towards the stairs and down to the ground floor.

He could tell that who he believed to be Wade was locked in combat with the cyborg, giving him time to stumble over and grab at Russel. He hurriedly dragged the teen to his feet and away from the fight, heart racing. Whether it be from the fear of being in such a situation without his powers or how hot he found Wade’s protective nature he wasn’t sure.

The two managed to find a place to hide, both panting as they squeezed in tight against the wall behind a barrier.

“What’s gong on?” Peter asked, Russel ducking his head out to see.

“Wade shot him through a wall! They’re still fighting.”

“Why is that guy after you?”

“I don’t know, stay here!”

“No! Russel!” The yellow blur ran from his reach, Peter left confused and blind as he stumbled after him.

There were so many yellow blurs, so much noise, he couldn’t distinguish anything! He was useless and alone standing helpless in the middle of a violent riot with no idea what the hell was going on.

Now he knew his heart was pounding due to terror.

“Russel!? Wade!?” Neither responded, another inmate pushing past him hard enough he stumbled and fell to his knees. Suddenly someone was at his side, a chubby hand helping him back to his feet. “Russel!” Peter sighed in relief, grabbing the other’s shoulder’s and getting closer so he could actually make out his expression. He looked…. sad, and kind of pissed. “What’s wrong? Is Wade ok?” He didn’t have time to reply before they were being backed up into the wall by armed guards, Peter shoving the boy behind him protectively.

“On your knees, mutants!” He reluctantly obeyed, Russel doing the same beside him. One of the guards shoved his baton in the wider’s stomach, Peter grabbing the bat and shoving it away from the other. A swift kick to his face was his punishment, but Russel wasn’t electrocuted again as the guard was too busy being yelled at by his co-worker, saying something about getting them all fired.

They were both grabbed by the shoulders and forced towards the closest cell, before being thrown inside. The door slid locked behind them, the prison wardens returning to rounding up the rest of the escaped.

“Are you ok?” Peter asked, sitting down as his head was beginning to throb. Russel nodded, his face strangely blank. “Is Wade…?” He trailed off, afraid to know the answer.

“Who cares about that cunt.” His stared at the other in shock at his sudden outburst.

“What happened?”

“I heard him, talking to that guy. He said he didn’t give a fuck about me.”

“I’m sure he didn’t mean it.”

“He did!” Russel yelled. “He even saw me when he said it! He didn’t even look like he regretted it.” Peter sighed in relief, pulling Russel to come sit beside him.

“He was trying to keep you away from the fight so you didn’t get hurt, you doofus. He didn’t mean it, I promise.” He wrapped his arm around the other’s shoulders in a hug, a loud crash sounding outside. “Don’t worry, we’re gonna be ok. I’ll keep you safe.” He promised as three other inmates were ushered into their cell, the mutants slamming angrily on the cell door once it closed.

“I’ll keep you safe too.” Russel replied, Peter smiling at him fondly despite his split lip.

“I know you will.”

By the time the riot had been quashed a few more were sharing their cell, and all the other cells were equally crowded. According to Russel, Wade was not among them.

they were forced to sleep bunched up together on the floor that night, the air unbearably cold without Wade.

He couldn’t manage to find sleep with his brain desperately hoping the man was ok.

§

“Transport will begin at 0800 hours...”

Peter sat with his tray of food at an empty table, Russel following and sitting at his side. His eyes were sore from trying to focus and lack of sleep, struggling to even make out certain things as close range, such as the difference between a spoon and fork.

“I have an idea.” Russel whisper quietly, pulling the older’s attention from his food. “If we cause a distraction, I can go down there and make friends with the big guy, then we’ll have someone to help us escape.”

“No, Russel, we’ll be fine without him. Don’t do anything that will get you hurt, please.”

“We need a friend to help us get out of here! You wanna stay in here the rest of your life?” The other hissed.

“Of course not, but… I don’t really have a choice.” It wasn’t like he had anywhere to go… and leaving would only endanger his aunt. Russel however, deserved a life, “...I will help get you out though.”

“Great, if you start a fight I’ll take him my food and-”

“Wow no no no-”

“Ok I’ll start the fight, you-” Peter quickly covered the other’s mouth.

“Listen, whoever or whatever is down there could be dangerous, ok? And what if the guards catch you? I’m not letting you put yourself in danger, just let the poor guy be and I’ll figure something else out.” He removed his hand and Russel pouted, slouching grumpily as he poked at his food with his fork.

“Fine.”

§

They were loaded into the 17th convey leaving the prison the next day, the two placed in tiny cells beside one another. They were among the very last to leave, given no indication as to their final destination.

“Don’t worry, we’re gonna be ok.” Russel whispered, whether to assure himself or Peter the brunette wasn’t sure.

“We are.” He promised, waiting for the guards to move away before he put his plan into action. ”I’m gonna get you out,” he whispered “do you have your pen?”

“Yeah.” For the first time he was glad for the disgusting piece of stationary.

“Great, tell me what you see on the wall and we’ll find a way to trip the system and get all these things open. If we cause another break out they wont be able to get everyone and you can make a run for it. But make sure you wait until we’re somewhere populated, then you can find help.”

“From who?”

“You’ll find someone.” He assured.

“Fat chance, if you don’t come with me I’ll be alone. No ones gonna help a overweight kid in prison clothes.” _Dammit_, he really knew how to manipulate him.

“...Fine, just, describe your wall to me, any ridges?”

§

“You all know the plan.” Wade announced, his crayon drawing of their rescue strategy on display behind him. His newly formed team sat attentive before him, their focus set on him as they went over everything one last time. “Intercept the convoy, grab the boy and his beautiful blind doe eyed friend, but not inappropriately! Only I get to do that, the doe-eyed beauty not the kid.” A series of nods followed as he pointed to the little round drawing of Russel, his figure holding hand’s with Peter’s. “He has an ass pen- the kid I mean- and he'll stab you with it. Also! Watch out for this guy,” he pointed to another drawn figure, “Cable! He's very short, 5'11". Not like in the comics.” There were a few befuddled looks at that but he moved on too fast for them to question. “And if we succeed, we all go home early.”

A hand was raised in the crowd, Wade pointing to the team-member in question.

“Dom, shoot.”

“What’s that part of the plan?” She pointed to the bottom right corner, a drawing of two figures in a heart shaped bed tangled together.

“That is how I plan to celebrate with Peter after all of you fuck off. If you’re interested I have some more explicit drawing in my handy dandy notebook?”

“I’m good.” She assured.

“Alright, let’s move team!”

§

They’d been driving for hours, slowly trying to get the cages open without being noticed. He was surprised no one desperately needed to pee.

Russel had described everything he could see in detail, Peter whispering instructions and teaching him how everything worked through the barrier separating them.

“What colour wires can you see?”

“Uhhh, orange, white, red… and green.”

“Which one’s link to the same processor?” There was a sound from the front, grabbing his attention, followed by a woman’s voice.

“Uhh, the white one and the yellow one.”

“See if you can try cutting them both-”

Peter jolted at the sudden sound of an explosion just outside, far too close for comfort. He couldn’t see anything going on, but he could hear footsteps thudding on the roof. They silenced a moment and he held his breath in wait, flinching as the back of the truck was ripped open.

“Russell! Russell Collins!” _Oh shit,_ he knew that gravelly vox. The Winter Soldier wannabe was back, _he had to get Russel out of here!_

His heart leapt and his mouth went dry at the sound of gunfire, his PTSD causing the image of his dying uncle to shoot through his mind. He shook his head to remove it, putting his focus on keeping Russel alive.

“Just cut the white one! It will get you out!” He instructed.

“What about you!?” Russel asked.

“You need to get out of here!” There was a loud crash, then another accompanied by screams. He had to focus his sight to try figure out what was going on, eyes widening in horror as he realised the cyborg was _pushing cells out into moving traffic_. “Oh God.”

“Shit!” There was that female voice again from the front, and the sound of Russel struggling to cut the wires without scissors from beside him. Evidently the shank wasn’t sharp enough, probably because Peter wouldn’t let him work on it.

The brunette’s heart thundered as another cell crashed onto the road.

“Hurry!” He yelled, more bullets flying about. There was shooting from the front now too, a silver cylinder knocked to the ground with a loud clang. It shot straight back the next second, hitting the assassin in the stomach and knocking him back.

That bought Russel a little time at least. In the meantime, he tried his best to kick his own door open, hopeless as it may have been.

His balance faltered as another large explosion sounded, the back end of the convoy blown right off. He nearly swore, unable to even fathom all the people who were currently dying while he stood powerless in a box, unable to save anybody. He felt like the most useless hero ever.

_Wait_\- was that Wade’s voice? He didn’t have much time to think on it as a woman carrying a gun walked past them. She must have stolen the convoy... but then who was driving?

“Got it!” Russel’s door opened and he slapped the button on Peter’s a moment later, opening his. The brunette immediately shielded the other and hurried him towards the front of the vehicle, narrowly avoiding bullet’s.

They were tearing though the middle of the road, the driver’s seat empty. He hurriedly jumped into it, trying to remember _how_ to drive. He didn’t even have his licence! He was a New Yorker for God’s sake! And on top of that he couldn’t see shit!

“Oh my God.” He gasped, slamming his foot down on what he assumed was the breaks. Nothing happened, leading him to trying the other peddles and finding none of them slowed the truck down. “Shit! We’ve got no breaks!”

“It’s Wade!” Russel yelled, relief flooding through Peter at knowing the other was alive.

“Hey Baby Boy!” Wade’s voice rung through the vehicle, the sound music to Peter’s ears. “I’m here to save your sweet little bubble butt! And Rus!”

“We’ve got no breaks!” Peter yelled back, too panicked to be embarrassed by the other’s forwardness.

“Dom, help him!” At his command the woman ran back to the front and grabbed the wheel.

“Hi.” Peter awkwardly greeted as he jumped out of the seat, allowing her to take over.

“Hi!” She attempted the breaks as well, a worried look on her face. Peter grabbed Russel and gripped the chair, forcing the other to do the same. _Where the hell were the seatbelts in this thing!?_

“Domino, mind slowing us down?!” Wade yelled, Peter looking back just to get a glimpse of the other.

He was clad in a tight red and black suit, locked in hand to hand combat with cable. The sight made his stomach flutter just a little, searching desperately for some way he could help.

“Here goes nothing.” Dom mumbled, Peter turning his attention back to the front as they drove directly toward’s a building.

“Are you crazy!?” Peter yelled, grabbing Russel tighter and bracing them against the wall.

They crashed through the windows and, his eye’s shut tight as he desperately hoped no one was standing in their path.

The building did slow them down, but not enough, and with a moment they were smashing through the other side back into the streets.

They had to get their speed down.

Throwing himself into action Peter dove under the dash, ripping off the cover and pulling the wires close enough he could distinguish them. One of these had to activate the emergency breaks.

“Try see if you can find and incline to help slow us down!” He yelled to the driver.

“A what!?”

“A hill!” If he could get them slow enough they might be able to jump-

“Oh oh.” He heard Dom whisper before she grabbed him by the collar, yanking him back up. He only caught a glimpse of the gas truck ahead on the bridge blocking their path before he was being shoved towards the open door, the woman grabbing Russel and throwing herself out with them in tow. 

The shock of the explosion propelled them further, the wind knocked from Peter’s lungs.

He fell face first into a giant inflated Panda’s belly, the deflating balloon protecting them from incoming shrapnel.

The brunette managed to fumble his way out onto the gravel road, squinting around in a desperate search as he forced himself to his feet.

“WADE!” He went to run towards the wreckage, a hand grabbing him by the arm and holding him back. Dom pointed towards the dust cloud with a wide eyed look, a hulking figure emerging from the shadows.

She pulled them both away and they hid behind a road divider as the giant passed, letting him be. It wasn’t till the mutant was out of sight she let him go and he sprinted towards the remaining broken bits of their convoy, searching desperately.

“Wade!? Wade!”

“Sorry kid... but I don’t think he made it.” Dom said gently, slowly coming to stand by him, Russel by her side. The kid looked just as heartbroken at the news, the backs of Peter’s eyes stinging. _No, he couldn’t be- _

Sirens sounded in the distance, giving him no time to mourn.

“We need to get out of here.” The brunette said, grabbing Russel by the shoulder in order to take shelter in a nearby ally way. They needed to ditch their clothes before someone spotted them.

“I’m gonna go this way.” The woman said, pointing in the opposite direction.

“Oh, ok. Um… Thanks.” She only smiled kindly and walked off, like some kind of mysterious life-saving cryptid.

She wasn’t sure why, but a sign had told her to go this way, and although she was certain Wade would have wanted her to help the two skip town she had learnt to follow arrows wherever they took her. Besides, that Peter guy probably knew how to hot wire a car on his own.

The debris from the explosion had spread pretty far, and she even came across a couple dismembered limbs.

“Doms! Doms!” Domino’s brows furrowed at the sound of Wade’s voice, following it toward’s an open dumpster. Deadpool’s torso sat inside, his legs appearing to have been blown clean off.

“Doms, get me out of here, please. Use my arms as backpack straps.” She managed to pull him up out of the trash and manoeuvre him onto her back as he suggested, glad the singed lower part of him at least prevented blood from getting everywhere. “I think we may have found your cosmic reason for being here.” He said as they walked off to steal a car.

“I'm pretty sure this isn't it.”

“X-Force~”

§

“I have to find them, they’re all alone out there, Al.” Wade worried aloud, leaning against his surrogate mother’s arm.

“You will, honey.” She assured, the other sighing and testing his re-growing lower limbs.

“Rub my legs, Mama.”

“Why would I rub your legs?” The blind woman questioned.

“Please, they hurt. I have growing pains.”

“What in the... Why is your hand so tiny again?”

“That's not my hand.” Al immediately flinched away with a cringe.

“Oh! Mary, mother of Joseph!”

“It was nice for me.”

“_Wade_!” Weasel burst through the front door, “I heard what happened with the convoy and-!” He made a gag as he spotted his friend’s lower body. “Why wouldn't you cover that up?”

“A warrior has nothing to be ashamed of.”

“Yeah, but you do. Look at you, you're just straight shirt-cocking it, toddler-style?”

“Oh, yeah. Full Winnie the Pooh.”

“The hell's happening? Describe it.” Al ordered.

“I wouldn't ask him to do that, if I were you.”

“It's like, um...”

“Here we go.” Wade mumbled.

“It's like he was giving birth anally, but they quit halfway through. They got the legs out, and they said, ‘You know what, I'm done.’”

“... Happy?” Deadpool asked, but it appeared the other wasn’t done.

“It's like he's a Muppet from the waist down. But this time, you can see the Muppet's dick. Grover's got a cock the size of a twig.”

“Mr. Weasel,” next, Dopinder entered, speaking hurriedly to his employer, “I can no longer be double-parked. I've had three tickets already-oowohhhhh!” Wade waved in greeting, “No, no, no, DP, not again!”

“This has happened before?” Weasel asked as the taxi driver held back bile. “Jesus, either vomit or don't. The indecision is killing me.”

“Why couldn't God take my hearing?” Al mumbled, another figure entering the already crowded room.

“Oh. Wow.” Domino froze, eye’s wide.

“Cool your pits. They're growing back.” Wade assured.

“I'm talking about your face. I've never seen you without your mask before, Jesus Christ!”

“Looks like an avocado.” Weasel agreed.

“Your legs, though! They're cute. You wanna borrow a pair of pants?” She threw her glove, the item landing directly between his legs, successfully censoring his toddler genital’s.

“I'm glad everybody dropped by. You must be wondering why I didn't call you here.”

“I'll tell you why I'm here.” Weasel said, cocking his gun. “‘The Time Traveler's Wife's’ husband beat me within an inch of my life. He was torturing me! But all I told him was everything he wanted to know. So, I'm here to help us gear up, so we can go after him without me.”

“No. I'm doing this alone. When I find Peter shit is gonna get R rated real fast.”

“Fair enough.” Weasel nodded, putting the weapon back away.

“I just need a couple of hours to get some legs under me.”

“W-What will you do?” Dopinder asked curiously.

“I ain't letting Cable get to them, even if I have to teabag him to death.”

“It's really just a sip of tea at this point.” Domino offered.

“Zip it, black Black Widow! I'm flowing. The first order of business is to get me in front of Cable, so I can pull all the fucking blood out of his body, and fashion his bones into holiday jewelry. Then, I'm gonna take his skin, and stretch it out over a homemade mating drum for me and Peter… He's standing right behind you, isn't he?”

They all flipped around, guns cocked. Cable slowly raised his hands in surrender, not looking at all afraid of their weapons.

“What in the ass? Is this apartment listed on Tinder? Grindr?” Wade asked, unable to recall if he had put this address on his account back before Vanessa. “You picked the wrong shithole to fuck, future boy.”

“Ugh. Is that really necessary?” Cable grumbled, the anti-hero before him crossing his legs seductively.

“No. It's his basic instinct." Weasel bit.

“What can we help you with?” The Mercenary asked.

“I'm here to proposition you.” The cyborg offered.

“Oh, boy! He's really teeing it up, isn't he?”

“Who gets to make the first joke?” Weas asked.

“I think we should all do it at the same time.” Dom suggested.

“Good call.” They all sheathed their weapons.

“For $45, you get sucky-suck.”

“I only do over the pants, mouth stuff.” Both Weasel and Domino said, the man yelling out ‘fuck’ at his failed attempt.

“The Proposition has a wonderful Guy Pearce performance!” Dopinder yelled, lagging behind.

“Wait, wait, wait! I wanna do mine over. Give us the line again.” Wade asked.

“I need your help! And trust me, I'm even less happy about this than you are, but you unleashed Spider-Man you dumb cunt!”

“Spider-Man?” He gave the other a confused look before his eyes widened and he gasped in realisation “You mean Peter!?” He’d thought that bubble butt was familiar! “Oh my God Peter is Spider-Man!? He was totally on my list!”

“What list?” Dom asked

“I can't take him down alone!” Cable interrupted. “So here we are.”

“Oh don’t worry, I’ll take him, but unfortunately we're no longer accepting applications for X-Force. Even if we were,” he sent Domino a wink “there's a wind advisory in effect until at least-”

“We don't have a lot of time. Your friend's about to make his first kill.” Cable once again desperately attempted to keep the conversation on course.

“No offense, but if you know so much... why not travel back to when he was a baby, kill him then? Or better yet, head back a little further, kill baby Hitler.”

“I use a device to slide through time. The longer I travel, the harder it is to control. I got two charges: one to get me here, one to get me home.”

“Well. That's just lazy writing.”

“Your boy's gonna kill the headmaster of the orphanage tonight. After that, he gets a real taste for it.”

“Like 10-year-old Kirsten Dunst, motherfucker!” Dopinder offered.

“So he keeps killing... and killing, and killing, and killing. Until one day, he kills the wrong fucking people. My people.” He slid he bag around to the front, all the groups guns suddenly on him once again. “Relax. I'm retrieving something from my utility bag.”

“It's a goddamn fanny pack, and you know it, you sick son of a bitch. The difference is night and day.” Weas bit.

“You remind me of my wife.” Cable mumbled, Wade’s eyebrows raising.

“I'm sorry?”

“I said, you remind me of my wife.”

“No, I'm sorry that you said that... while making heavy eye contact and applying lip balm.”

“She always struggled. But she was funny... and filtered her pain through the prism of humour. Something I could never master. It was my fault she died. It was my job to stop people like him. I came close a few times. He wasn't too happy about that. He was trying to hurt me... and he knew exactly how to do it. He came into my home... and took the only thing that made it a home. Sound familiar?”

“I'm sorry.”

“Uh-huh.”

“No, I'm really sorry. But that isn't Russell. It doesn't have to be him.”

“If you knew what I knew-”

“Yeah, he's got anger issues, maybe a small learning disability, splash of diabetes, but nothing that can't be fixed.”

“If you could go back, and stop the people that took your girl, would you?”

“Of course I fucking would! But I wouldn't kill a kid.”

“I'm not asking you to kill a kid! I'll kill the kid. I'm asking you to save hundreds of other kids. Russell's gonna burn down that orphanage, and I can imagine your dead girlfriend, would want you to do the right thing, wouldn't she?” _Ouff, now that was a low blow._ “So, what's it gonna be, handsome?”

“...Give me a chance to save him.”

“What?”

“You said once he kills someone, he gets a taste for it. If we can get to him before that happens, promise you'll give me a chance to put him on a different path.”

“Define ‘chance.’”

“I don't know. How long does it take to save someone's soul? That's not-”

“I'll give you thirty seconds.”

“What? No!”

“Best I can do. Take it or leave it.” Wade considered it a moment, coming to his decision and slowly managing to stand.

It was difficult, and his legs were shaky, but he managed to take a step forward toward’s the antagonist.

“He's doing it! Look at the little fella, he's doing it.” The bar owner celebrated. “There he goes.”

“Jesus Christ.” Cable murmured.

“Just shirt-cocking it.”

“Ugh.”

“There you go, little fella. Go on, you're doing it! My beautiful, hairless, Twizzler-legged baby boy.”

“Christ, that's disturbing.” Domino breathed.

“Thirty seconds.” Wade agreed, putting out his hand for Cable to take. The man looked at it a moment before taking it, the two shaking in accord.

“Deal.”

“Deal.”

§

The empty warehouse Peter and Russel had made their hiding spot was filled with old tools, empty spray cans, abandoned syringes, and the signs of skateboard wheel marks left behind on the sole table i the middle of the room. It appeared the broken windowed building hadn’t been used for legitimate purposes for quite some time.

They had managed to find a clothes donation bin and change out of their jumpsuits, shoving the ugly, scratchy, and thin material into a dumpster. Russel’s where a little tight and long, but they rolled up the pants and didn’t comment on the fact.

Currently, Peter was focusing closely on Russel’s collar, attempting to get it off with some of the rusty tools he had found laying around.

“Got it!” The collar unlatched and fell to the boy’s lap, a feeling of warmth surging over him as his power’s we’re freed. Immediately Peter then began working on his, looking into the shiny surface of an tarnished and dusty broken mirror. “Don’t worry Russel, as soon as I get my collar off we can start making our way back to America. My aunt lives there, she’ll be able to help us.” Now that he knew how to get these things off it would take him less time to get free, then he could go try finding a soup kitchen or something to get the other something to eat. He’d heard his stomach growling loudly for some time.

“I can’t go with you.” Russel announced, looking solemn as Peter stopped his action’s.

“What? Why not?”

“I have a mission. To get my revenge. I'm going to burn that headmaster alive, and you can’t stop me.” Peter looked shocked a moment before sighing and returning to fiddling with his inhibitor.

“Russel, I can’t let you do that, ok? Ah-” It unlatched finally and fell to the ground. “Don’t worry ok? You’re probably just grumpy and hungry. Wait here and rest while I go try find a soup kitchen or something, alright?” Russel frowned but nodded, the brunette standing with a fond smile and tasseling his hair. 

The boy watched as be left, waiting until he was certain the other was out of sight before standing and readying to fulfil his mission, leaving the abandoned warehouse behind.

When Peter returned with sandwiches he’d been given by a homeless shelter he found their hiding spot barren of human life.

“Russel?!” There came no reply but the flutter of a pigeon taking flight. “Oh no.” He did a quick once over of the space to be sure, but as he had feared the teen was nowhere to be seen.

_Idiot!_ What the hell had he been thinking leaving a volatile trauma victim on him own!? At least he had an idea where he was going.

Without wasting another moment, leaving the sandwiches for the rats, he ran to an internet café he had noted on the way over, the sign on the window advertising the first ten minutes as being free. Hopefully it wouldn’t take him more than that to find Russel’s orphanage’s address.

He jumped in front of the closest available computer and hurriedly began to type in the search engine, struggling not to get his fingers stuck on the keys in his stress.

Russel had called it a ‘Mutant Re-education Centre’, and he knew it had to be here in Canada. After typing the words he was met with a flood of new’s articles and youtube footage, Russel’s image as he destroyed police car’s with jet’s of fire pasted on them all.

He had no time to trouble over the mutanist headings, clicking the first one and searching for the location. Thankfully, though it concerned him they were freely advertising the location of a mutant child filled institute, it was there and he was able to copy it into google maps.

It only took a few seconds for him to memorise the route from here to there, thankfully only two hours by car. He had no doubt he could run just as fast, though he’d have to pace himself. With any luck he would catch up with the other before he even arrived.

Hurrying back out into the busy streets he pulled up his hood to hide his face and managed to covertly stick to the side of a passing truck, climbing to the top and sitting.

He traded vehicle roofs several times in order to continue heading in the right direction, all the while keeping his eyes peeled for the other.

He must have caught a ride, or a bus, Peter realised after over an hour with nary a glimpse of the other.

He jumped from the latest delivery truck and ran fast as he could down a long, trafficless road. He only stopped when passing a bus timetable, skidding to a halt. A bus had passed just fifteen minutes before. Russel must have been on it. 

_Fuck! _He sped up his pace, sprinting down the tree lined road. It wasn’t long till he came across a taxi speeding up ahead, hope filling him as he forced himself faster to see if Russel was inside.

The window wound down, a red masked face poking out.

“Peter?!” _He knew that voice!_

“Wade!”

“Dop hit the brakes!” The taxi screeched suddenly to a stop, Peter nearly tripping over his feet as he struggled to do the same. “Get in!”

He grinned, yanking the door open ready to jump inside.

He froze as he spotted who sat on the far side, his orange eyes glowing. Immediately he bared his teeth, jumping over the woman closest into the middle and slamming his fist into the assassin’s face, struggling not to hit too hard lest he kill the bastard.

Dom shut the door behind him and the taxi wheels screeched as they sped back off, Cable groaning and holding his bloodied broken nose.

“_Damn_! You hit hard baby!” Wade exclaimed in surprise.

“Why is he here!?” Peter but back, ready to beat the other to a pulp.

“I’m from the future.” Cable growled back.

“No shit _Robocop_!” The brunette wasn’t even surprised at this point.

“Russel need’s to be stopped before he kills or he’s gonna turn into an arsonist serial killer.” Wade helpfully summed up.

“He ran away a few hours ago, I think he’s after his old headmaster.” Peter explained, though he assumed they already knew that considering the route they were taking.

“I managed to make a deal with shorty, we’ve got thirty seconds to stop him from killing anyone.”

“Thirty seconds!?” Wade nodded and Peter bit his lip in thought. Russel was so riled up... there was no way thirty seconds would be enough! He needed years of counselling and therapy for this sort of revenge-based shit. _He had to give them more time._

Without another thought he raised his legs and kangaroo kicked Cable as hard as he dared, sending the other and his door flying into the street.

“_Daaaym_ Petey Pie!” Wade yelled in shock, watching Cable roll into the distance.

“Step on it! We have to get there first!” The taxi driver hurriedly did as asked, Peter looking back to see the cyborg running after them, glad to find there was no way he could catch up with those tiny legs.

He sighed in relief, relaxing into where the other had been sitting and doing up his belt.

“Hi, again, I’m Peter.” He offered his hand to the woman beside him, the unfazed mutant shaking his hand.

“My name is Dopinder!”

“Nice to meet you, I-I’m really sorry about your door.” He apologised meekly, a slight tinge to his cheeks.

“It’s fine,” Wade assured, though Dopinder didn’t look so sure, “on a more important note, why didn’t you tell me you were Spider-Man!?” Peter cringed.

“Uh- I- um- I was just trying to keep my aunt safe. How did you find out?”

“Robocop.”

“Ahh.”

“Can you squirt webs, Mr. Spider?” Dopinder asked excitedly.

“Not without my shooters.” He replied, looking back out the window to see Cable still struggling after them, further in the distance now.

“Damn, cause that’s hot.” Peter went bright red, mumbling in an embarrassed fashion.

“Shut up, Wade.”

“Damn, that guy can really run.” Domino commented, looking behind at Cable.

“Here.” Wade passed Peter his gun, the brunette looking at it horrified a moment before leaning out the window and hurling it down the road.

He missed Cable’s head by a ruler’s length.

“That’s not what it was for!” Wade yelled.

“I’m not shooting anyone!”

“He’s a time travelling super soldier, he’ll be fine!”

“I don’t care if he’s the Incredible Hulk I’m not shooting at him! Why are you even armed!? You’re gonna scare Russel off!”

“We’re just being cautious!”

“There is no way you’re walking up to him with all those weapons on you!”

“Will you two stop flirting? The sexual tensions suffocating.” Domino interrupted their argument, the brunette turning bright red again. He would have argued but the sight of a building up ahead tore his attention away, a familiar teen making his way up the institution’s front steps.

“There’s Russel!” Thank God they’d gotten there in time!

Dopinder stopped the car and they all jumped out, Peter sending Wade a glare. “No weapons.”

“Fine. Ugh.” He removed his katana’s, hidden guns, and knives obediently, leaving them all in the back seat. “Time to make the chimichangas.”

“Stay in the car Dopinder, too many of us will scare him away. See if you can distract Cable.”

“Yes Mr. Spider sir!” The man hurriedly got back in the vehicle and revved the engine, speeding towards the figure in the distance.

“I finally know why I'm here.” Dom said with a kind of nostalgic smile. “I was raised in this place. Well, not raised, I was tortured.” Peter turned to her horrorstricken.

“Wow! It's your cosmic reason for being here!” Wade congratulated happily, the brunette’s shocked expression turning to him. “Shall we?”

“This is gonna be fun.” She said with a smile, Wade agreeing with her. _These people were so screwed up. _

Putting that to the side he hurried ahead, seeing the door open and a man pop his head out. _That must have been the headmaster. God, he really did look like a creep. _

“Russel!” The teen turned to see them at Peter’s call, the door slamming shut.

“Russell! You don't need to do this! Let's talk!” Wade insisted, the boy’s expression firm.

“Yes I do!”

“Please Russel!”

“You don’t know what he did to me! It’s my mission!”

“A superhero would never have a mission to kill somebody!” Peter insisted.

“Sometimes… to be a hero, you’ve got to do the shit nobody is willing to do.” Russel replied, Wade cringing under his mask.

“Awww shit, I might have taught him that.”

“_Wade!_” Peter reprimanded, the group ducking as a fiery explosion ripped from Russel’s hands, knocking the door in off its hinges. As soon as the aftershock subsided Peter ran after him, the boy taking chase after his retreating headmaster.

Wade and Domino were about to follow when they saw Cable had managed to evade Dopinder and caught up with them.

“Aw shit.” The man was panting a little as he made his way over to them with a glare. “Oh hey! Cable! Fancy seeing you here!” He grunted at Wade angrily, a road burn down his cheek accompanying his broken nose.

He snapped the appendage back into place with little more than a wince.

“Thirty Seconds.” Cable reiterated, walking up towards the building entrance. Wade hurried in front of him, casually leaning in the burning doorway to block his path.

“Hey! Been meaning to ask you, what's with the creepy, dirty hobo bear?”

“It's not dirt. It's the blood of my dead daughter.” He growled.

“...I have a gluten sensitivity. So one glass of wine, I just... Yeah. Wish we could head back in time, and I could take all that back-” Cable shoved past him roughly, getting out his gun and running after the three.

The halls were already burning, Russel yelling angrily after his prey.

“Say it!”

Wade spotted Peter trying to calm the other and putting himself in the line of fire, literally. Russel readied to shoot anyway, Wade tackling Peter to the ground and using his body to shield him from the flames.

As the fire subsided Peter was panting under him, looking up at Wade with something like wonder.

“Thanks.” He said breathily, Wade not moving off of him.

“Told you this little fucker's too far gone!” Cable yelled as Russel took chase once again, snapping the two out of their micro-moment.

“Zip it, Thanos! We have a deal!” Wade yelled, standing and helping Peter to his feet.

“Dom! Get the kids out of here!” The brunette called as a wood beam fell nearby, the fire beginning to spread.

“On it!” She departed for the sleeping quarters as the three men ran after Russel, following his booming voice.

“Say it!”

“You are an abomination!” He threw fire after the old man, narrowly missing his quivering form.

“Russel! Stop!” Russel turned only to make a line of fire between him and his would-be saviours, before running off again.

Peter hurdled straight over without a thought, the other two following and running straight through the flames.

Cable stopped to aim his gun, pointing the nuzzle ahead at Russel’s retreating form.

“No!” Wade grabbed the gun nozzle and pushed it towards the wall, the aftershocks sending them both out through the window.

They both groaned and slowly got up, looking around the yard to find a group of armed men in white uniforms running towards them.

“Oh, great, a bunch of armed pedophiles in nursing shoes.” And he was still unarmed because Peter made him leave everything in the taxi. _Damn that sexy angel._ “Can I have one of those guns?

“No.” Cable replied, cocking his own.

“That's fine.” He reached down and picked up a stray brick.

“Get off this property, mutant scum!”

“I'm just gonna use this brick. Maximum effort!”

Back inside Peter ducked to avoid falling debris. The kid was surprisingly fast, and very determined, which was proving to be a lethal combination.

His attention was momentarily diverted as he saw Dom with a heard of children, their path to the front door blocked with flames.

“We need to get them out!” She yelled after seeing him.

“I saw a bus outside! This way!” He picked up two of the smallest to help her and hurried to lead them out a side door he’d noted, kicking it down as his hands were full. “There!” He gestured to the bus and passed her the two kids, about to run back in when he spotted Russel entering the outside auditorium. He hurried after him, freezing once he stepped inside.

“Oh my god.” Before him atop the stage was all manner of torture machines and mutanist propaganda, the old man cowering at the end of the room.

“Say it. Say what you said every time you tortured me!” Russel yelled, his voice cracking at the volume as Peter’s heart broke. “Say it! ‘_Blessed are the wicked, who are healed by my hand’_!”

“Blessed are the wicked... who are healed... by my hand.”

“It's time to burn for what you've done!”

“A child should not be burdened with such power!”

“Russel!” Peter finally managed to speak, the teen glaring back at him and readying to fire at the headmaster. “Please Russel! You’re not a murderer!”

“Russel! Wait!” _Thank God_, Wade had run in right in front of the cowering bastard, but that didn’t deter the angry teen, a fire ball shooting towards them.

The roof began to collapse, Peter surging forward to grab Russel and pull him away. Instead his hands burned at the touch, Russel pushing him away hard as he could.

“I told you! Leave me alone!”

“Come on! Listen to me!” Wade yelled, another fireball knocking both he and Cable right through the wall.

“Wade!” Peter ran after them, jumping through the opening and coming to the red clad anti-hero’s side.

“They say millennials are the hardest to reach.” He groaned as Peter helped him up.

“Oh, no. You're doing amazing.” Cable replied sarcastically, Peter shooting a sharp glare his way.

“Damn, it feels good to be a Gangsta!” Russel yelled as he slowly followed them out. “Go home! You're ruining everything!” The fires climbed higher as his hands burned brighter. “I'm getting good at this shit.”

“Go, go, go, go, go!” Wade dragged Peter away and they scuttled out of the line of fire, shielding themselves behind a metal slide.

“He dies tonight! You can't stop me!”

“He even runs like a fucking pervert.” Cable commented, the three all looking to see the old man stumbling away.

“Like an online predator who lost his laptop.” Wade agreed as Peter cringed. He hated the idea of anyone being murdered, but he was really considering making an exception.

“There's one bullet left in that gun.” Cable gestured towards the firearm a short distance away on the ground.

“You’re not using it.” Peter bit back.

“Wait, wait, wait! Please, just give me a second! I got this.” Wade insisted. The brunette grabbed his arm before he could walk away, staring up into his soulful white eye covers.

“Be careful.” He begged, the taller giving him an assuring nod before he stepped out.

“Russell!”

“Stay back! Go home, Wade!”

“Let's talk. It doesn't have to go this way! That piece of shit... he deserves to die for what he did to you. He hurt you badly. Makes you wanna hurt others. But if you kill him, he wins. You become everything he says you are, but worse. You're just a kid. You don't wanna hurt anyone.” He was walking up to the other slowly, and Russel was letting him, his eyes red with held back tears.

“How do you know what I want?”

“Because I've been inside you.” Peter’s eyes widened. “That came out wrong. I've been inside your shoes. Which is also off-putting. It's not a great analogy. The point is... there are people... There are people in this fucking world, besides him, who will treat you right. It isn't too late. Don't do it...” He was right in front of him now, the teens hands lowered. “I never should've left you there. I never should've left you in that prison.” Wade wrapped his arms around the other and Peter let out a sigh of relief, his expression melting into concern as he saw the Russel’s mouth move and his arm’s glow.

“I can't trust anybody!”

Wade was blown away by another explosion of erupting fire as Domino ran towards them to help. The soot left the front of his suit grey as he coughed and slowly got back up.

“Wonderful kid.” Cable growled with a glare, Peter returning the bastard’s look.

“You can't stop me, Wade!”

“I got one more idea. It's just a really bad one, even for me.” Wade pulled a inhibitor collar out from his utility belt, Peter’s eyes widening as he clasped it on.

“Wade no!”

“Wade, what are you doing?” Domino asked warily.

“All right. This is for all the marbles, kid! If you’re gonna kill someone today,”

“_Blessed are the wicked..._”

“then it's gotta be me.”

“_Who are healed by my hand!_”

“Russel no!” Peter cried out as he saw Cable lunge for the gun, running and leaping to tackle Russel out of the way.

In the same moment Wade jumped between Cable and Russel, falling to the ground with a groan as the bullet hit his chest.

It all happened so fast; Peter felt like he had vertigo as he stood shakily from shielding Russel.

“Tell me they got that in slow motion.” Wade groaned as he sat up, looking down at the hole in his chest and poking it. “Oh, that's not good. No, sir.”

“Oh God.” Peter ran to his side despite his shaky legs. “Wade!” He collapsed onto his knees by the other’s side, near hyperventilating. “You idiot! I moved him out the way!” He knew there were tears in his eyes, his throat burning.

“You sacrificed yourself for me.” Russel whispered, as if in shock.

“Yeah, and it was the best thing I ever did. I told you I care about you. You're a good kid, Russell.” Peter gripped the collar around Wade’s neck, trying desperately to get it off.

“Stop, stop, stop! Stop! Just let it happen, okay? Please.” Peter’s arms went lax, a hopelessly sad expression on his beautiful face. Wade had the urge to kiss it. “I guess my heart was finally in the right place. That riddle is so fucked up.” He groaned again, leaning back down and resting his head on the brunette’s lap.

“Hey, the bear! It worked!” They all looked to Cable, the soft toy hooked to him turning from black to brown. He held it softly, the gentlest look Peter had seen from him crossing the assasin’s face.

“You did it Wade.” Peter smiled sadly, cupping the other’s head.

“I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.” Russel knelt beside him, tears in his eyes as he peeled off Wade’s mask gently.

“Don't be. Don't be. I've been trying to make this happen for a while. Please, just don't leave me. I don't wanna die without an audience.”

“We’re not going anywhere.” Peter promised, gently running his thumbs over the other’s scars.

“Oh God I hope the Academy’s watching.” Domino knelt beside him on the other side, speaking softly.

“Hey, just rest.”

“Papa. Papa, can you hear me? Papa, can you find me in the night? Before I go...” his eyes unfocused as his head went limp on Peter’s lap, tears falling from the brunette and Russel’s eyes.

They vaporised a moment when the other suddenly moved, shocking everyone out of their mourning.

“Sorry, I got a bit more in me. Domino. I want you to have my Adventure Time watch.” He took of the item and passed it to her “Turns out that I'm the lucky one. Thank you. And you, Cable. You get back to your family. You tell 'em Wade says hi. And promise me. Promise me one thing. That you'll start judging people... not by the colour of their skin, but by the content of their character.”

“Jesus.” Cable mumbled, Peter managing a chuckle despite his tears.

“R-Dog? There you are. Hey! You're a superhero now, bubba. That’s why it’s high time that you had a super suit. This one is yours. You might want to get it steam cleaned, especially around the pants, and uh let it out a little at the waist. But hey, look. Family is not an F-word. All right? There's one out there for you. Just keep looking, okay?” Russel nodded, tears streaming down his face no matter how hard he tried to hold them back. “Peter?”

“Yeah?” The brunette asked gently with a soft smile.

“I know, we’ve only known each other for like three days, but we had something special, you and me.”

“Yeah.” He agreed quietly, his smile shaking through his tears.

“I want you to have my katanas. Their names are Bea and Arthur. I want you to take care of them for me, and Dopinder. He’ll never steer you wrong.” The brunette nodded, still gently brushing his thumbs over the dying man’s cheeks. “Guys, for a second there... we made a pretty good team.” They all smiled at him sadly, save for Cable who appeared even more solemn than usual.

Peter sniffed sadly, one of his tears dropping onto Wade’s cheek.

“Hey, don’t cry beautiful, at least one of us gets to go see our girl again.” Wade reached up slowly and wiped his tears away with his thumb.

“Yeah, she’s probably better for you.” The adolescent whispered, a confused expression crossing the other’s pale face.

“Better?” He asked, watching as Peter bit his lip.

He slowly leant down, kissing his lips softly, like a butterfly landing on his lips. It almost made him not want to die.

“One more? Before I go?” He asked as the other began to pull away. Peter laughed softly and leaned back in, the light fading slowly as he passed to the feeling of his heart-mate’s lips finally on his own.

Peter leaned back as the other went completely limp, weeping as yet another loved one died in his arms. Russel shook with sobs, Peter reaching out and wrapping his arms around the teen.

Cable turned away from the sight, looking at his time travelling device as he begrudgingly made the hardest decision of his life.

§

Wade felt an extreme sense of déjà vu as the bullet hit him in the chest and the fell to the ground, although to be fair it was quite a common occurrence.

“Tell me they got that in slow motion.” He groaned as he sat up, looking down at his chest in search of the bullet hole. “Huh?” None was to be found, only the bullet lodged his... skee-ball token? “Genuine, high-grade lead. You time-sliding son of a bitch! You did this for me?” He asked, Cable wearing an almost smile.

“Wade! You’re ok!” Peter ran to his side and held him tightly, flooded with relief. “You big idiot.”

“Naaw, you care!” He cooed, nuzzling him back. “Wait,” his attention switched back to Cable, “you can't go back. You used the last of your fuel. What about your girl, your wife?”

“Now, my family's safe. And I didn't do it for you. No, I'm gonna stick around for a while... and make sure the world doesn't shit itself into oblivion.”

“No. You did it for me.”

“No, I didn't.”

“You did.”

“I really didn't.”

“Pretty sure you did.”

“He totally did.” Peter agreed.

“No, I'm positive I didn't.”

“Fine. All right, let's flip a coin. Okay? Heads, you did it for me. Tails, you did it for me.” He flicked the coin away carelessly “I'm not even gonna look, because you did it for me.”

“Say it again.”

“He did it for me.” Peter chuckled, his arms still wrapped tight around Wade.

“Jesus.”

“I’m gonna get this thing off.” Peter claimed, removing his arms and twisting the collar back to face him.

“Forget it. It's no use. These collars don't just come off.”

“Wade, I have an idea.” Russel announced, pulling out his ass pen from nowhere.

“No, no, no! Let's not do that. Please! I'd rather die of cancer. Let's just... Oh, God! They do say the pen is grosser than the sword.” As soon as it was open Peter took over.

“It might take me a while, there’s a complex code system, the code to unlock it can be anything from one to a hundred digits.” 

“Try, uh, seven?” Domino suggested flippantly.

“Settle down, Captain Lucky. It's not gonna be one number.”

“It worked!” Peter gasped in shock as it opened and fell into his hands.

“Oh, God, that's lazy writing.”

“I still got it.” Domino grinned.

“Put that back in your prison wallet.” Wade ordered as Peter helped him up off the floor.

“No way, get rid of that thing now. I want to see you throw it away.” Peter said, staring at the boy pointedly until he sighed and obediently chucked it.

“I don't know how to thank you.” Wade began, turning to Cable. “But I do know how to hug you.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“Here we go. Bring it in. Come on. Pelvis to pelvis. Let's go tip to tip. There we go.” He could hear Peter struggling not to laugh. “The kids call this docking… Is there a knife in my dick?”

“There's a knife in your dick.”

“I'm just gonna back up now. Yeah, yeah. No need to go full Yentl. Gonna pretend like that never happened. Let's go home, Russell.” Peter wrapped his arm around Russel’s shoulder with a smile and they all walked down the road together. Peter and Wade shared grins, the merc daring to bump him with his hip and wrap his arm around his waist.

“All you dirty mutants are gonna rot in hell with the boy!” The five turned to stare at the rattled old creep. “Your souls are beyond redemption!

“Let's see your soul, perv!” Cable yelled, his weapon out.

“No, no! No!” Wade yelled. “No more! We're better than that! We're better than him! No more senseless violence! No more bloodshed! We'll let karma take care of him.”

“Shouldn’t we call the police?” Peter suggested, surprised by his sudden change of heart.

“Don’t worry baby, it’s fine.” He went bright red and immediately dropped the subject.

“The day of reckoning is here-!” Within a second a blur of yellow crashed through the building and slammed into the headmaster, his blood splattering onto the hood and creating a skid mark across the road.

Peter gasped in shock and managed to move fast enough to cover Russel’s eyes.

“You are so adorable.” Wade chuckled.

“Whoo! Courage, motherfuckers!” Dopinder yelled as he jumped out of the car, a crazed look in his eyes.

“And karma, motherfucker.” Dom added.

“I could hear you coming the last 30 seconds, I could barely keep a straight face!” Wade laughed, the brunette giving him a sharp look. He immediately coughed the humour away.

“I want some more.” Dopinder growled.

“I bet you do, Brown Panther.” Peter whacked his arm at that. “We better get out of here.” He hurriedly diverted.

“Good call, how are we gonna do that?” The woman among them asked.

“We could all take the bus?” Peter suggested.

“Nice, we should take them to the X-people, they’ll be able to take care of them there.” Wade suggested, excited to see Colossus and the X-lesbians so he could rub his hot new morally straight love interest their faces.

“Perfect.” Dom agreed, the six walking up to where Domino had parked it, leaving the destroyed building a dead bodies behind.

“So where you gonna go now?” Wade asked Peter casually.

“Back home to New York I guess, if I can without Harry throwing me back in prison that is.”

“No way! I was just thinking about moving over to New York!” _In just the last two seconds in fact_. “Maybe we could get a flat share, do some superhero team ups?”

“That sounds cool, no killing though.” He insisted with a smile.

“For God’s sake just make out already.” Cable groaned in disgust at their flirtation.

“_What_!? No!” Peter yelled in embarrassment, but Wade had a different idea, pulling up his mask and pursing his lips. “No! We are not making out in front of a burning building filled with dead pedophiles!”

“Oh, come on!”

“No!”

“Please!”

“_NO_!”

“Just one!” Peter hurried ahead towards the bus, Wade chasing after him begging for a kiss teasingly as the other played hard to get.

Russel watched with both fondness and disgust.

“That’s so gay.”

§

Colossus hadn’t exactly been happy to see them at first, his arms crossed firmly at Wade’s happy demeanour despite having ‘liberated’ a bus load of children. After meeting Peter however his tune quickly changed, the brunette’s sincere request and apology all that was required for him to agree to take in the kids, including Russel. He even offered the adolescent a room for the night, which he humbly declined, not wanting to impose after having already requested so much of them.

Wade gladly took this as opportunity to jump in and offer his own bed suggestively, Peter chuckling and accepting under the terms there would be no funny business and he could use the phone to contact his aunt. Ellie then promptly informed Wade he would never get into the younger’s pants, to which he maturely responded by blowing a raspberry at her.

With the taxi left at the scene of the crime Weasel had to come pick them all up in a ‘rental’ *coughstolencough* car, Wade and Peter promising they would come visit Russel any time he wanted and assuring he could call either of them at any hour.

They both left him with a hug, the round boy squished tight between them while Cable and Domino called at Taxi for themselves.

The drive to Al’s place was anything but quiet, Dopinder excitedly telling Weasel all about his first successful and deliberate kill. Peter tried his best to block it out, chatting with Wade instead. Besides being a determined flirt the entire time he told the brunette all about Al, how he could stay as long as he liked, and how he would happily help him get back to New York asap, if it was indeed still standing. The place was probably burning down without its arachnid protector.

Blind Al was more than welcoming, when they arrived, Peter gladly taking up the offer of a warm shower and ordered pizza.

The sounds he made as he ate a proper meal for the first time in weeks left Wade with a straining erection he didn’t bother to hide, causing the younger to choke once he noticed. It was only made harder by the sight of the other in his clothes, the overly large articles hanging off his lithe form in the most adorable way.

By midnight they finally begrudgingly agreed it was probably time they went to bed, Wade agreeing to sleep on the couch and sacrifice his old bed to the brunette.

They stood in the doorway of the room a moment neither quite ready to part ways for the night.

“Night.” Peter whispered as he leant against the frame.

“Night.” Wade replied just as quietly, their bodies moving closer as if by magnetism.

Their lips almost touched before Peter suddenly wimped out, coughing and turning to walk into the room, his face bright red.

Wade groaned in frustration, lumbering over to the couch and collapsing face first.

_Dammit!_

§

Weeks past and Spider-Man swung once again through NYC, smiling as he saw Deadpool on their regular meet-up roof, the other waving towards him excitedly.

“Spidey! How’s my favourite arachnid themed hero with a bubble butt?”

“Did you threaten Harry?” He immediately accused as he landed on the balls of his feet, crossing his arms at the merc.

“_Harry_? Hmmm, can’t think of any Harry’s I’ve recently threatened…”

“Oh so it wasn’t you who broke into his cell, beat the shit out of him and said if he did anything to me ever again you’d shove your katana so far up his ass he would be able to see it come out of his mouth?” Wade feigned deep thought.

“Hmmmm, nope?” Peter gave him a look, clearly rolling his eyes under the mask. “Anyway! Ready to team up?”

“Sure.” He relented. “Pizza after?”

“It a date!” Peter stopped still a moment, before smiling under his mask.

“You know what? It is a date.” He pressed a quick masked kiss on Wade’s cheek, leaping from the roof as the merc stood frozen.

_Wait, Seriously!? Weeks of flirting and that was all it took!?_

“_Are you kidding me!?_ Wait!” The hero swung off with a grin, Wade leaping from rooftop to rooftop after him as they disappeared into the sunset.

_~The End~_

**Author's Note:**

> If you're wondering Cable put the token in wades pocket when he shoved past him :) Hope you liked!


End file.
